Hey, Look at me! I'm a moviestar!

So, you've always wanted to come face to face with a real live movie star? Well look in the mirror pilgrim! Its a piece of cake and I'm gonna show you how to do it.

The world of movies is pretty cool. Lots of free food, Good pay to sit around and make friends, Hobnobbing with the stars, etc. I myself have been doing movies for only about a year and have enjoyed it immensly. So far I have only had one Line: "Can I quote you on that Miss Styles?" (After being flipped off by NAOMI CAMPBELL in Invasion of Privacy) The reason I have had only one line is that I haven't bothered to get an agent, and frankly it's nearly impossible to get a line without one.

My favorite flick so far was Independence Day where I played a Military Policeman during the scene when WILL SMITH brought the alien to the military base and during the alien attack on the base. These scenes were shot at the old Wendover Air Force base (Of A-Bomb fame) in July 1995 in 112 degree weather. I chatted with WILL SMITH for about 15 minutes between shots. He's a pretty cool guy. I also had the honor of putting my rifle to the back of RANDY QUAID's head after he assaulted a doctor at the base. (A scene that was cut from the film.) The highlight of the shoot was the alien attack scene where there was chaos and carnage everywhere. The FX guys set up about four firebombs out on the tarmac along with an exploding truck and flying stunt-men bodies. Most definitely a two-thumbs-up experience.

Most of my acting career however has been on the TV series Touched By An Angel which now airs on Sunday nights after 60 Minutes. I have been in over 10 episodes but have only watched once. People tell me it's a good show though so give it a look and you might see me. By the way, ROMA DOWNEY is a babe in real life too. She is already taken though, and just gave birth to a baby girl. Roma is also true Irish and often times we find the publications of Sinn Fein laying around the set.

Here are some of the other characters I have played:

Newspaper Reporter
Camera man
Camera man's grip
Drummer in a Country Western Band (But I hate Country Music.)
Popcorn Seller
Ferris Wheel Rider (With a FINE latina babe at my side.)
Car Driver
Gardener
Drug Addict
Run of the Mill Criminal
Police Officer
Plainclothes Policeman
Undercover Cop
Detective
Military Police (In the recent hit INDEPENDENCE DAY)
Some Lady's Boyfriend
Street Musician
Person Walking Past Camera (Too many times to count)

"So how can I do this too?" you ask. Well let me tell you. First, Look in your local newspaper under the classified section "Models, Actors, Entertainers Wanted" or something similar and choose an ad which looks reputable. ASK FOR REFERENCES and beware, there are a lot of scams around. If they want you to shell out bucks for acting classes, look elsewhere. NO classes are needed to be an extra. Sometimes reputable agencies will require that you take classes if you have no previous acting experience and are looking to audition for parts or lines, but they are reasonably priced and taught by professionals. If you can't find anything in the classifieds, look in the "Arts and Entertainment" section of the paper. They will often have listings of auditions for theatrical productions and occasionally notices of need for extras in films. The third option is to open the Yellow Pages and look under Talent Agencies. Visit a few and talk to a lot before deciding on one. If you want to make a career out of it, this is the only way to go.

Good luck to ya and may the farce be with you.

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Created and conceptualized by THE ROOSTER.